Should I fuck myself or take the easy road?
I can graduate in December if I fuck myself and take the rest of the classes I need in one go.
The thing is I'm sick of school. I'm mainly sick of it due to all the the amount of work they assign us and overwhelm us. I'm sick of the late 3am nights, the desperate cramming before exams, the headaches I get when I look at my calendar.
The easy road would be going halftime in the fall and spring. In the Spring I'd graduate and enjoy myself during this time before going into industry.
If someone doesn't text you first, does that mean they are not interested or is it okay to keep pursuing them?
More specifically, I'm a fat female, I already lost a little less than 90 lbs, still got 40-50lbs to go, so I know I'm not pretty yet... but I know that fat females can get friends and boyfriends. I'm not a virgin, but right now, I just can't get anyone to go have a drink with me or see a movie or whatever. Everyone's busy with their own friends, which makes me think that they just aren't interested in me. They reply to my texts, but they always have a reason to not hang out with me.
Am I too ugly? Do I need to wait until I'm thin before trying? Is there something I can do meanwhile to compensate for my ugliness? Is there any kind of hope for me?
I can't hold conversations because my mind goes completely blank
my thoughts are two dimensional and sluggish
I used to think in images but my mind's eye is blind
everything I do seems to take twice as long and I don't even realise
I can't remember large chunks of my life or discuss things I like/dislike, opinions, etc
my eyes can't focus on anything, I have a constantly vacant and zombie like expression
I used to live life as a passive observer within my head whilst my body is in autopilot, now it's like I became the embodiment of this observer and I'm lost
I'm a month sober as of today
is this only temporary?
I don't want to live like this
I haven't had a gf since I was 19 and now 10 year later I'm interested on a new girl that's on my class. The problem is that I never know what to talk about or what to say. I'm not afraid to talk but I always stall when I think about what.
How am I supposed to approach her via txt on weekends and in person during the week? I really don't know what to say. I really feel stuck.
I grew up in a physically, and mentally abusive divorced family - whereby I've had to come to terms that both my parents were monstrously shitty people.
My father was an absentee alcoholic, who dropped out of a history degree, beat his wife, argued in front of his kids, gave my brother a speech impediment (because he wouldn't stop drunkenly yelling at his baby babbling, because he wanted to watch his hockey game), made us eat rotten / stolen food, and stole from us. He works a minimum wage job he hates (and where he is hated by everyone for being an incompetent faggot), and owns an apartment that is crumbling because he is too resentful to take care of it.
My mother is an emotionally vicious narcissist, who was molested as a child. She never let me and my brother out of the house, and would beat me. She'd us wooden spoons, closed fists, kicks, dragging me by the hair (which is why I cut it short).
They also tormented me for my OCD, and not the frilly kind of OCD that liberal college students have. I had Howard Hughes levels of OCD, I would engage in nail and skin peeling, self-starvation, sleeping on the floor, self-suffocation, etc... My parents delighted in tormenting me with this, and refused to get me any kind of therapeutic help for over a decade.
Aside from this, I worked multiple jobs. I got into a STEM-based private school on an entrance exam and merit. I won awards / high honours, and got into my dream college and got high honours again.
Then I got to my dream university program, and my parents sabotaged me at every turn. Divorce, abuse, money arguments, lying about who pays what, making me miss weeks of classes, destroying my clothes in a fit of rage, etc...
My GPA plummeted. I left my dream program. I had money stolen from me by ex-friends (they have been sued by now). And in the process, I lost my longtime girlfriend because she viewed me as "a nice guy, but too screwed to make it."
I snapped and decided I want to become a psychopath. (continued)
I'm a Junior in HS. My overall gpa so far is a 3.97. I have a 33 on my ACT, and am waiting for my new score to come in.
The problem is that I've had a lot of family and mental issues this past year, and as a result my grades have tanked. I'm working as hard as I can to get my grades as high as possible so my gpa can stay above a 3.5 after this year (the minimum for academic scholarships).
Apart from that, I honestly have no idea how to go about applying to colleges, and especially applying for scholarships. My parents aren't helping me and my school counselor hasn't been any help either.
I just don't know where to go from here.
Lads I'm an apprentice at a company and a new apprentice girl started last Monday who's really attractive and nice. I gave her my number after talking to her a few times this Monday. She texted me and we had a bit of a conversation.
Today (Friday) I asked her out. She said she was busy but she put emphasis of the fact she was "genuinely" busy and she reiterated this many times as if it was the truth. And someone from her department said she was talking about her plans so I believe her.
Is she a lost cause boys? Should I ask her out again at some point? Someone from her department said she admired how fast I gave her my number (relative to when she started at the company). But it's hard to gauge whether she's interested or not.
Decided it’s time I do this. I’m not completely out of control yet but I am getting to the point I never remember what I do when I drink and I’ve ruined one or two relationships already because of drinking. I’m trying to catch myself before it gets worse.
Any tips on what helps with cravings? I mostly video gamed or watched tv while drinking so I feel those would just get my cravings going.
Help! I chickened out. I was about to have my firs t time with my virgin college girlfriend but when I just saw her naked body on the bed after undoing her bra and removing her panties, I just couldn't do it. She just had this innocent look on her face as she stared at me sweetly, telling me to take care of her. I ended up just kissing her, telling her I love her and cuddling up until we went to bed. How do I get pass this?