>have have a moderate amount of people online who I get along with >want personal, close relationships/friendships with said people >some of these people actively express that they'd like the same thing >get ready to send someone a message and start conversation >clam up and get anxious about how they'll probably just get annoyed and how I will just be that annoying person who messages them with no real purpose other than wanting conversation
Even in the times I do have the confidence to try and take the initiative in furthering a friendship, I don't know what I would even say to have a casual one-on-one conversation, let alone a meaningful one. Every day I'm struck with a feeling of crippling loneliness despite being surrounded by people who actually like me, do I just have a fucked mindset, do I need to learn to deepen friendships, or is it something else? I've never had a real close relationship(romantic or platonic) outside of one girlfriend but it was short-lived since she had to move away.
pic very related as the loneliness has progressed into a few months of suicidal thoughts
So i dont know who else has this problem but i cant seem a way to deal with it. So in certain situations e.g, if im fighting someone or im in a tense situation i tend to get this urge to cry and i can NEVER stop it. I try to slow down my breathing and not grt too flustered but when i calm myself down and start thinking about the situation it starts all again. Wtf do i do /adv/ ive tried every single piece of advice ive gotten and nothing has worked.
i cant find any motivation to get started on my bachelor thesis. I dont even know what to write it about.
I always need some pressure to get shit done and at the moment im too comfy with my trainee job, going to the gym and chilling in between. Its the perfect balance between stress, free time, satisfaction and money.
Fiancee and I are going to out first trip alone together in the beach. It's just the two of us in a secluded Island with less than 200 vacationers so we have a lot of privacy. I want to make our first time to be as comfortable and romantic as possible. Should we do it in our tent? On the beach sand under the night sky?
So, I'm a 28 year old male, I've never kissed, I've never fucked, I've never had a girlfriend or a girl friend.
I'm straight, I would like a female sexual partner, but I don't think my personality is attractive to them.
As a consequence of being alone with no friends, I've developed the perception that friends and relationships have no purpose.
"Friends" I've had have used me to get free special favors, or to get money from me and then never pay me back.
Every encounter with a girl is a dejavu of "haha ur quiet haha" and me replying. "Yeah, I am."
If I don't have a reason to have a friend, because I can do everything myself and I don't need encouragement from people to feel like I'm important, how will I ever have social connections with people? What is a friend supposed to even be?
If I see women as only something to have sex with, but women don't like being objectified and used only for sex. How am I supposed to be intimate with one?
Do women only like men that are extroverted or have some kind of problem or disability they need help with?
Why can't I be a quiet, perverted, independent person and have people take interest in me or want to get to know me? Why do I have to pretend to be someone else to get attention?