I really need help on cutting someone out of my life.
It's a long story but in short its about an ex who I loved a lot that used me as a rebound to get back with her ex, or at least this is what it seems like.
I want her gone from my life. I want to delete her pics, her music playlist and her insta, fb etc
But I just can't, I have this thought in the corner of my mind that she will still be mine in the future and that the things she told me were true. I just want to be over her. Just seeing a picture of her makes my heart skip a beat and my body melt.
I live with my mom, she survived cancer twice now and it’s mostly me paying for things at the moment while I also do the student thing.
She filed for bankruptcy as she had too much credit card debt due to a botched startup business she tried to do-
Are people gonna storm our home and take my workstation away? I built it for like 900 bucks in highschool years ago so probably not, but art commissions is my primary source of income, plus I have a webcomic/animations I’m working on, so yeah that’d be a pretty big loss for me.
If anybody has tips that’d be great, right now I’m just trying to keep my mom’s head above water mentally so worrying about my computer is something I just don’t need right now.
>be me >had been severely depressed for at least 3 years >go to uni at 18, meet literal girl of my dreams >after being good friends for months i finally plucked up the courage to make a move >it fucking worked, happiest i've ever been >spend last 2 years at uni living together and both loving every second, talked about a future together all the time >still struggled with depression every now and again but she would always lift me out of it and make me feel so much better about myself
Post-uni: >living at least an hour and a half away from each other >only see each other for a few days every month/2 months >i'm making genuine progress and improving so much about myself, basically doing it all for her out of love >long distance is hard but the thought of knowing that she loves me is enough to keep me working towards our future >speak over the phone for at least an hour every day
Fast forward to now: >been doing long distance around 5 months now >i still feel the exact same about her >she on the other hand has doubts that our relationship isn't going to work out >becomes more distant, rarely responds to texts, avoids my calls >eventually crumbles and calls me to tell me she wants a 'break' >she has her own life, a career she wants to build and work towards and says she won't have any time for me
And here we are.
I've become a complete mess since hearing this. I've gone straight back into a depressive state. As unhealthy as it is, I'd become emotionally dependant on her. The thing is, she's not completely gone; it's not a clean break. She wants us both to focus on ourselves for an indefinite period because she wants us to be happy together in the future, rather than miserable because we focused on eachother having missed opportunities etc.
Hey /adv/, I've decided that I need to quit porn all together, since it's starting to affect my health and my work life in a negative way. Here's the problem.
I'm an autist. I say that because I need to be blunt. I always need things organized on my computer, by category, by folder, to keep myself sane. Here's the problem though. I have around 5,000 jpg, png, gif, swf, webm files of (pretty high quality) hentai, porn, and eromanga saved. That means I organized, BY HAND, all of those. And I'm having the most difficult time deleting it because I worked on it for a very long time.
Do I suck it up and delete it all? Do I upload it all in one folder in one go, then delete it? Do I upload periodically while deleting it? Or is there no point since websites have organized their porn with tags anyway? I have no clue what to do.
I hope you can give me some advice on how to improve my life, or at least some aspects of it because it is pretty much in shambles.
> 26/ M/ Germany > had to put my studies on hold because if illnesses > studies were almost complete > Rheumatism, Multiple Sclerosis and Major Depression to name the severest illnesses > affects my coordination, ability to move, cognition, memory and leads to break downs to name few symptoms > condition gets worse > unable to work duo to medical condition > had to pass on doctorate and industry jobs, which I had sheduled after studies > poor, survival only form wellfare > many issues with different offices e.g. wallfare office > sheduled medical appointments at rheumatologist, neurologist are spread far apart > heavy problems duo side affects of medication > no positive response and only side affects of psychiatristic medication; therfore perscription stopped > psychologist gave up on me; basically said there is nothing she can target with a therapy in my condition and that my life basically is horrible right now and the cause of my suffering. Canceled my appointments and told me I could reshedule them, when my life becomes less horrible. > dateless, kissless, virgin > no firends, no social milieu, nobody to talk to > tried to get in contact with people via fb groups or activities at university unsuccessfully > mother is gravely sick > bad relationship with father; threw me out of house; no contact
This goes on for over 10 months now. Suicide seems like a viable option.
I’m a 25 years old guy. Shy, socially anxious, very self conscious, I judge people too much and I’m scared of being judged, I can’t maintain friendship, I’ve never had sex, I’m too insecure about my penis size, I have low motivation or drive to do anything, I’m very not sympathetic towards other people, I’m a repressed closeted bisexual, I hate kids, I have toxic relationship with my dad, I’m not close with both of my parents, I can’t fall in love with anyone, I jerk off too much, I fantasize too much about living the ideal life scenario that I want to live, I fantasize too much about having a conversation or giving an interview, I’m addicted to escapism, and I just started smoking 1 month ago.
I want to fix myself and be date-worthy by girls who are on my league. I want to be like everyone else. Where do I start?