there are two things i would like to say here. they sound kind of contradicting at first but are actually solution to the way you are feeling.
you are not here to fulfill anybody's expectations, not even yours. first and foremost, you are alive and breathing and you should enjoy every moment of your life you can, and every possible feeling of that, just because can.
now that we got this out of the way, the second one:
more or less what this guy >>18636873
said, just don't take it as harshly sounding as it is. you need to listen to yourself and see what you actually want to do. we have our urges and one of them is having a purpose in our complex society. then again, if you don't want that, fine. live your life the way you feel like, and without hurting anybody else.
i realized this one year ago, i was working in my field i was schooled for. the job itself is quite difficult, which is fine and all, but the owners of the business are practically psychos, and also the other owners of similar business where i live are messed up in the head. so at one point it all made me sick and i quit without having a back up solution and decided that i will most likely not be doing that shit anymore, even if it means being a cashier at a shitty supermarket.
and now ive got a job thats not in my field, is fun and way easier, and pays better. oh, and i have a life.