I feel utterly lost at times. I go to counseling and groups, I'm on a med that helps but ever since I moved from my buttfuck town I haven't been able to land steady work. My Dad is a manipulative sad sack who keeps trying to get me to move back (basically to help him buy smokes and listen to him rant) to a city with no jobs whatsoever. Thinking of getting a warehouse job and going to school for Supply Chain. I have my A+ and was applying to tons of tech gigs but can't even get work in helpdesk. I'm overdrawn 14 bucks and feel like a fucking idiot. Any advice on fixing my stupid life?
Seriously, why can't I just let go and stop being upset with the way my parents raised me?
Sounds dumb, but growing up, I was always shy, introverted, had low self-esteem, etc. In high school I started getting depressed, and then at 18 I joined the military. During the military I was experiencing a bit of a culture shock. I was basically on the path of becoming a neet, then the military started instilling things in me, most things good, but one thing bad; bitterness towards my parents.
I was mad that my parents raised such a failure, but while thinking this, I also thought that now that I'm an adult, I can't blame them, that they weren't that bad of parents and the only person I can blame is myself. I was basically blaming them for my shortcomings, but now most of that is fading away, but I still have this lingering desire to never talk to them or see them.
I don't really know how to explain it, but I don't feel very attached to them anymore, granted if they were to die tomorrow I would probably be really sad. I sound like a total piece of shit right now, and I just want to have a normal relationship with them, but I'm always so critical of them and it basically forces my to distance myself from them as I see them as a negative influence on me.
I'm 23 now, in college, out of the military living on my own as I never moved back to their place. I visited over the holidays and did my best to spend time with them, bought them gifts, etc. but something was still off. I can't put it into words, but it felt like I was just longing for them to be different. I judge them so much and I can't seem to stop. I know this sounds all so dumb, but I have no relationship with them really and I'm tired of it. They never abused me and all they wanted was for me to have a good life growing up, and I think they did a good job in that. Maybe it's our cultural/religious differences, the fact they are conservative but lack ambition, idk what it is but i want it to stop.
Im a bisexual woman and I'm currently dating a heterosexual male. He is homophobic and it disgusts me.
I have a group of queer friends (mostly bisexual and lesbian women) I love going to LGBT friendly bars with just to hang out, and he never wants to come because he said he'd feel "out of place being surrounded by lesbians at a gay bar".
His weird ass won't even go to pride parades in our city because, and I fucking quote: "gay men always hit on me because I'm muscular and I'd rather not go to something like pride"
He's just copping out and I'm thinking of leaving him for it. What should I do?
Is 26 too old to begin drawing, or begin playing an instrument?
Way down the line, is it more profitable to make art (f.ex. commissions) or music (f.ex. youtube revenue)?
I just want a hobby. I've been a depressed neet since I lost my job last year and can't find a new on, barely living on wages.
Videogames aren't fun anymore. I go for walks, otherwise I sit indoor and pretty much look at youtube all day. The two things I mentioned are things I'd probably enjoy most but idk if I could manage. Hell, being able to make money isn't a priority, but it would be a huge bonus.
I just feel like it's too late to start, you know? Teenagers draw better than me, and at my age they'd have a 10-15 year advantage or already be successful.