So I just kicked out my gf out of the house. I was depressed all day from how abusive she was and then at my lowest point, she offered for us to kill ourselves. My survival instincts kicked in and I saw nothing but red.
I wanted to raise my tolerance for all the drugs she had me do but it was too much. I feel she might off herself tonight. She's full on psycho.
I feel as though most people are too stupid or conditioned to believe certain things. This includes women I'm romantically involved with, friends, various adults, people of all types.
I'm an intellectual type. I study subject in my spare time for fun, listen to podcasts and videos on philosophy in the background while I do menial tasks, and engage and read lots of discussions online to expand my understanding. It is a goal of mine to learn at least one new thing every single day of my life. I am fairly well read on anthropology, history, biology, astronomy, sociology, etc., etc. and try to learn more all the time. I crave deep discussions and love having my views challenged. Picking brains is one of my favorite things to do.
That said, most people aren't this way. They care very little about learning and more about being hedonistic little apes who aren't interested in advancing, or at least recovering, society. Even when I find a woman who I think is special, she can't step out of her biases to simply learn things that she may feel are uncomfortable, such as sociology and biology regarding the sexual dimorphism of women and how that affects modern society. I can't simply explain these things without being made to feel as though I should apologize.
A common theme is that people agree with what I am saying and comments that it makes sense, but is somehow offensive. I discuss everything in detail (some women value that regardless of if you believe it or not) and these topics aren't brought up on purpose as a way to hurt feelings. I don't just say "Hey, did you know that you are biologically predetermined to have this model of behavior and I have observed this behavior on a mass scale in order to determine certain traits about you," these people just ask me for my opinion and I tell them. I feel bad that they don't like my answers.
I don't know what to do in my life. I was on a scholarship and went in a 5 year program to get a degree and I finished my first year with a 3.02 GPA. But I finished the first semester of second year and I stopped caring because of stress, depression and unhealthy diet (eating junk food everyday and drinking 1L of soda perday). I started studying at the last minute but there are times where I went to an exam and submit it a blank paper because I've been having migraines and didn't even study anyway (I might lose my scholarship because of this).
I've been feeling emotionally numb to the point that one of my best friends died and I didn't shed a tear. I got depressed and sad of course but this made me realize how much of a piece of shit I am. I keep thinking that my life doesn't really matter but I need advice to get out of this mess.
How do I reconnect with people and how do I care about studying/my health again? I really need help, /adv/. I want to fix myself in this winter break
I am in a dilemma /adv/. About a year ago, I met a girl during the first semester of college. We both got along well and grew really attached to each other. She told me she wanted to be with me and I in turn wanted to be with her(we never dated or asked each other out on dates for I think we both feared rejection). The semester ended and we both went our separate ways. I did get her number and we texted for a while after the semester ended. However, I was met with hard times and she was still going through some shit and we stopped texting each other altogether. My hard times have finally ended now and I wish to talk to her again. I enjoyed the time we spent together and wish to continue it. I just really have no idea on how to restore our communication. Any advice would be very much appreciated.
How can I stop comparing myself and thinking about other people in high school?
In short, I was a loser in high school. I sort of turn it around. Graduated college and got a good job. But I still can't stop googling people I went to high school with and comparing myself to them. It sounds petty but I want them to fail, I want to be above them.
I know this isn't healthy but I can't shake this feeling.
Lads I hit her up one last time and asked if she wanted to hang and she made a tongue-in-cheek comment about how I "love making plans" and we agreed on something to do and a date which "should work, I'll know by tomorrow".
I replied "okay cool" and she dragged on the convo by expressing how much she hates making plans ahead of time but how she needs to get over it to be a functioning adult. It then led into me making comments about how she does because it makes her look bad when she blows me off, her defending herself by saying she gets sidetracked and can be anti-social, and me saying how its rude and if she's sincere about hanging with me, she needs to show some effort. It ended with her saying "okay youre taking it a bit far w the lecture but I get it. Nuff said ill reply"
Did I do good lads, I feel like I made a good point.
I'm really not looking for someone to reply to this post, I just need to get all this stuff off my chest. But if you want to waste your time go ahead. I've fallen hopelessly in love with a woman I have no chance with, and I know that, and I know I need to move on but I just can't for some reason. It aggravates me though that she's always complaining about she's sick of guys using her and playing her and she's all upset that she can't find a guy to treat her well. All I ever want to do is just treat her like an absolute goddess but there's just no way in He'll she could just give me a chance right? Oh no, why not shut the fuck up with all my bitching and see that the guy I'm looking for is right in front of me? Nah, I'm just going to tear his heart out and step on it with stiletto shoes! I'm such a fucking dumbass for falling for her, there was a time when I was over her but she wanted to come back into my life and I willingly let her back in. I told myself I'd keep my guard up but yeah, that plan went to shit. I know that there's more important things to worry about, but this is just that one thing that really cuts me to my core. Again, I'm just getting shit off my chest and if no one cares enough to reply to this post, it won't worsen my inconsolable mood.