I have a similar issue anon, not with dating though but with relations in general.
Whenever I'm in a relation with someone, after some time I start hating them and envy them for no fucking reason, sometimes even fantasize about killing them.
But I keep my feelings too myself, I do no harm to them and they won't notice my fucked up inside. But I won't handle all this hatred in my heart, so I'll start slowly pulling myself away from them so they won't notice and think they have mistreated me.
And I've tried to work on that issue, but it all was a waste, I'm still an "evil" I guess. So I promised myself I won't start any relation until I solve this issue, which I don't think I'll solve one day. And I have no frens now, I guess that's better for them and me.
So You can try something similar, try working at your coomer side, and don't date unless you solve it anon, and if you didn't solve it, I guess you I'll join me in my boat and keep yourself away from girls.