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Hey 4channers. Hope you guys are all doing well tonight. I’ve come here from some advice/insight. I realize I might get a lot of trolls and that’s fine, I need a good laugh. Recently I have basically lost everything. I lost my marriage, my job, what a little support system I had left, and everything else I can think of. I’m not saying I’m 100% innocent and I’m not trying to play the victim here either. There are so many factors that went into what happened this week and it’s a really complex situation. The American healthcare system is shit. I have been trying to get crisis mental health help all week. I even attempted to voluntarily commit myself to a psychiatric ward and they would not take me. This was after two overdose attempts and they still wouldn’t fucking admit me. I don’t know if it’s because of Covid but they seemed to think I was fine to go home. This has been an ongoing battle for a few years. I’ve been trying to find decent psychiatric care for my depression but haven’t had much luck. For four days I have been calling every single psychiatrist, counselor, crisis unit, you name it, with a 500 mile radius. Tonight I just found out my ex hacked my Facebook And took screenshots of conversations that could easily be taken out of context. This was the one person I have ever truly trusted and they took my heart and shattered into 1 million pieces. I know the screenshots of things illegally will probably never have any grounds in court and I don’t understand why it was done. I don’t want to fight anymore. . I’m just wondering if anyone else has been in this position or has any insight. I don’t have access to any firearms and I don’t know if pills are the way to go seeing as how I failed majorly. I have a very sensitive stomach and usually just start puking after the first mouthful of meds. I’m thinking possibly drowning or waiting until the winter and letting the elements take me.