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i want clean slate, i need a new identity

No.25669790 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
>be me
>24 (2015)
>working security, cheffing, research and going to uni
>trump brexit
>everything at uni turns a long drawn out awful event. because of me expressing my views openly, peers just generally not liking me (very immature) and a love triangle involving me, a girl, her boyfriend and our teacher.
>eventually pass get degree etc
>get heavily immersed in politics going to party meetings, discords, protests etc
>still applying for jobs but no one is taking me
>i am not going back to shitty jobs
>pay off student debt
>£20k in savings
>get everything i want politically. (leaving the EU, new sense of national pride, paychecks from investors, paychecks from a regular government job etc etc)
>pandemic happens
>lose all of it
>be broke. actually owing £14k in debts from rent missing payments bills etc
>have to go back to doing security
>no respect, dealing with shitheads
>meeting up with people again from 5 years ago who i thought i'd never see again
>they tell me i look like shit, and ask where i've been
>give them a random round about answer
>remember why i hated doing this, at least when i was at school i could always tell myself it isnt going to be forever.
>feel shame
>be me 30 now
>still broke, owe £6k
>moving home soon (may)
>haven't seen any of my friends in over 2 years, everyone seems distant
>log back into skype and facebook to retrace my steps
>no one has really moved on professionally, even some people who i respected are now social workers. it just seems like a bare bones vibe of 2015. everyone else is gone because of my views/just generally wasting my time.

i know i need to reinvent myself i just dont know where to start.
i've already got a wishlist for when i get out of debt
shoes, aftershaves, shirts, new bed, new computer, air pods etc
but i genuinely dont know where to go to make new friends or new hobbies or what sorta job i can get nower days. i cant keep doing security its killing me inside