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The Loneliness Is Back

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Once again, I have fallen into an abyss, this time the thing that pushed me over the edge was a stupid, shitty, song that reminded me of my friends pre-covid. This Halloween will mark the 2 year anniversary of the last time I talked to any of them, they've all forgotten me and moved on to better things, I acknowledge this is a selfish lamentation, my own fault, I misjudged the closeness of our friend group and overestimated how much I meant to them. Looking back we were probably never as close as I wanted us to be to eachother. Sometimes I get aches deep in my chest and stomach, it's emotional but feels so physical, it hits for days if not weeks and I want to do nothing but shatter into a million pieces, I hate being forgotten. Sometimes I conjure up in my head some imaginary person who loves me stroking my cheek with their hand, though I've never experienced that I can feel it so clearly, it's so warm and soft that I burst into tears at just the thought, but it comforts me anyways.
You can post advice ITT but I kinda just want to hear your loneliness stories, so I don't feel as, yknow, alone.