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How to stop this?

No.27452228 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Ever since she left (after a big argument I stared because she couldn't prove she that didn't lie to me after I got suspicious of her and lack of proof) it feels like my life was left on pause. I used to be so oit going and loved to take hikes and go places. I had motivation and dreams. She was my inspiration to follow my dreams /hobby. Now that she's gone and never talk /see her I've become a recluse that avoids people. Go to work. Come home drink until I fall a sleep alone in my room rinse and repeat. This has been my life for 3 years. People think I'm "fine". When really I am not.I put on happy face around family and Co workers.
I have become obsessed with finding out the truth. I have been searching for years it's all I do everyday stalk her online and all her friends it gets deeper but I won't get into that. It's like I HAVE to know why she can't prove she didn't lie to me even if it kills me. It's become more then obsession it's become my life. It's unhealthy I know it's mentally fucking me up but my brain won't let me stop until I know the truth