Get your backs straightened, and your eyes directed forward, ladies!

Welcome to hell, men of the such and such numbered regiment of wherever the hell you're all from! As it Is your first day of active duty, I will be inspecting your kit to make sure each and everyone of you, is prepared for the hilari- *COUGH COUGH!*- I mean! GLORIOUS task of dying for the Emperor! So get your gear out, and prepare to be judged accordingly!

But before we begin; Too whomever is responsible for colouring all regiment's the grenades various shades of Slanesshi vomit, please step forward and explain yourself! If you're quick enough, I may not blam you!