Throughout history the story of those who have attained higher knowledge is always the same: it starts with RENUNCIATION of the world and its sensory pleasures.
This means trading the outer world for the inner world. One cannot have both, at least not at first.
Also, this task is the task of tasks, the hardest task! So, its no wonder that its to be expected that only an extremely select few manage to make their way at any given moment in history. But, I'm not trying to discourage you. In truth, the only one standing in your way is yourself. Its up to you and the grace of God to see things through.