[25 / 5 / 10]
9KiB, 300x300, 6BD720AE-0C54-4505-B43F-909ABB84BAF2.jpg
View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO

No.21718876 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Hi, /x/.

To make an incredibly long story short, I’ve worshipped and dedicated my life to God for as long as I can remember. The only sin I can recall committing is pre-marital sex, but it’s only because we are engaged and I am plenty sure we are to be wed.

And to make an even longer story short, I’ve had this lifelong devotion to God and literally feel no connection with God, I feel Him doing absolutely nothing in my life, I’ve felt nothing positive in my life for as long as I’ve been alive, and to be honest, I’ve actually had quite a difficult life what with not having a very good home life/family life growing up and being forced out of school for various reasons.

I have never gotten anything I’ve wanted, I can honestly say I’ve rarely felt happy a day in my life, and even then, most days I feel I’m on the verge of blowing my fucking head off.

I feel extremely far away from God at this moment and I’m starting to have doubts that He is even of existence and if He is, that He even gives a shit about me falling in line and working for Him my entire life.

What do I do, /x/? Do I blindly follow like I always have? Lately I’ve been interested in experimenting with “Black/Dark Magick” or whatever to get ahead in life since it’s obvious that if I put my life in His hands it’s obviously not going anywhere

Not sure what to do, though. I just want to be in control and finally get a foot in the door with my own life.

>inb4 real Christians wouldn’t immediately turn to Darkness

Actually, you dumb fuck, I’ve been having these doubts for quite a while, it’s just that I’m just now starting to realize that I have a choice in how my life goes without expecting God to “guide” me.