Psychedelics started the process several years ago and I keep being bombarded with mockery and insults from imaginary versions of myself. I can't see them but I can hear them, and they don't let me relax because they are disgusted with what I've done throughout life and what I continue to do.
Everyone I've approached about this never hears about the voices and versions of myself I imagine, they just think I have some anxiety and depression.
For example: I used to be able to play games for hours on end without any drinking or weed to artificially make me relax. I used to watch a bunch of shows and movies, and I used to love listening to random albums I've seen on /mu/... not anymore. I literally stare at the fucking wall and get lost in my mind/imagination to pass the time, because anything besides earning money results in near constant accusations of being lazy and worthless.
ffs throw me a bone here