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Goth BBWS (And how to Summon them!)

No.30352325 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
This is bow to summon a big-tiddy-goth-gf-waifu. It can be done by almost anyone, you just need to do it correctly.

Steps One through Six:

Step One: Don't be a cuckold retard with a brain the size of a goddamned pea. No one likes basedbots. And no, real bitches don't like simpfags, they just milk these rejects for wasted cash. It's been said through generations: Alpha males get laid, but Gamma Males get wives.

Step Two: Have a fat dick. Length is relevant but girth > length. No one likes pepperoni-penoir. Also, your height matters. But if you are a legit bro, then it doesn't. Just in most cases, it does. I know, tough luck! Thank evolution for that one.

Step Three: Have a bank account. Who the fuck wants to be homless lol? Go ahead, get raped by a pack of niggers because you're homeless and outta cash, I'm "sure" the cops will care. Can't afford even a can of soup? Fuck that shit, get a job and work your ass off (unless you are stuck in Canada, my condolences. You have my permission to go Postal).

Step Four: Dont be a tryhard-larp-fag. Everyone enjoys a spooky story and ranting about how much they hate the Jews. But be rational.

Step Five: Make sure you can hold a basic conversation. You want to meet a gal in real life but fumble your spaghetti balls at the drop of a hat? ...Oh boy. Aight, lemme give you some advice, champ: Be upfront and honest. If the situation feels forced, explain why you want to talk to her, show some interest and be a rationally confident guy whose down to run a serious relationship, but you can be just good friends and see if she's willing to introduce you to somelse, eventually. (Obviously don't explain this all in one fucking sitting) Real men can handle any situation with confidence!...unless she's a catty bitch, then walk away. Her loss, not yours. Not all Goth Girls are worth the effort to satisfy, but they are worth meeting to see where the current goes.

Step Six: It's a normal fucking woman, expect the unexpected. Damn...