I was born with a very fucked up spine. scheurmanns disease (kyphosis), scoliosis, and one leg longer than the other. inherited from my mom (she has really bad kyphotic posture). had corrective surgery, full fusion of mid-back with parts of my hip shaved off.
I share this because I will never feel relief in stretching the midback. my spine is essentially a lever arm post-surgery. this makes me think of the spiritual consequences as well, supposed prana/chi going up from the sacral chakra to the cerebellum and back down to achieve enlightenment/kundalini energy etc.
it makes me think my destiny was one of suffering. without surgery, live with horrible, painful goblin posture where the possibility of enlightenment is there with a fucked up, albeit mobile spine. with surgery, the prana is obstructed from titanium, cadaver, and my own hip bone, possibly permanently blocked.
I still try to stretch, do my best especially to open my chest, shoulders, and roll around on hard surfaces like medicine balls, pvc pipe, and rollers to break up the scar tissue from surgery. I worry it's either all for nothing or I'm doing further damage.
fuck this world. fuck genetics. fuck women breeding when they are predisposed to mental illness, shortness, spinal disorders, thinking it will equal out by breeding with what they perceive as good genetics. it is very hard for me not to generalize and succumb to misogyny, but whenever my mind goes into incel territory, I get angry when I see little, kyphotic dwarf women fawn over six feet plus chads. the potential for dysgenic offspring is too high. chad really should only date Amazonian, mentally and physically fit women. he won't since it's the goblins are easy pickings.