I think I want to break up with my gf because she has gained weight and now doesn't seems to take any care in her physical appearance. does this make me a bastard? This is a long term relationship and I do love her and her personality but at the end of that day your not sexually attracted to a personality. That's what separates a friendship from a repationship. What do I do?
every so often I see a girl on the train or in a coffeeshop that I imagine kneeing her hard in the stomach, choking her out and biting her face off and it gives me a raging erection
in fact even writing this has given me a somewhat sizable boner
these girls are almost always the type that I found attractive when I was younger, now I appreciate their aesthetic beauty but with no attraction to it
I love the way that I can fantasise about anything that turns me on no matter how depraved and she can't do anything about it
the thing is, I don't hate women and I wouldn't do this irl in the same way that fps players aren't all waiting to go on a killing spree
personally I don't see a problem with this but I tend to get told that I should see a psychiatrist about it
why do people see this as an issue?
should I consider seeing a psych?
wouldn't they say I'm a threat to society and alert the police even if I mention it though
>be me >all life skinny with no physical features to attract women >boring too-respectful-towards-anyone personality >terrified of the thought of rejection all my life so never ever approached a girl >thus hkv >34 >mostly don't give a fuck about anything >didn't long for a romantic relationship in about 10 years (not that I hated women or anything, just understand why I'm not attractive to them and try not to care and live my life) >meet this business acquaintance about my age >she's really nice, always talks to me and tries to draw me into topics outside of business (which I almost never experience working with women) >interpret it as she's into me >one day try to approach her (not a straight forward ask for a date) - get rejected >now she's avoiding me as a fucking plague, no eye contact, no talking at all except necessary, sometimes won't even return greet and generally ignores my presence >I get to see her once in a month through business and I'm legitimately terrified when I have to go >it's fucking tearing me apart, just want to undo that approach and her to be pleasant as she was before
For months now I feel WAY worse than I ever was in those 10 years prior to falling for her.
I can't wash away this feeling of extreme SHAME, like what was I even thinking that a woman like her (solid 7) would be into me.I wake up with thoughts of her absolutely ignoring me and go to sleep with her ignoring me in my thoughts, I'm absolutely broken by this.
I'm sneaking into North Korea for the second time in 6 months tomorrow. I'm making a documentary on the countryside of North Korea. I'm leaving in a day. Will respond to any actual, request, advice, or quetion.
I've been thinking of suicide a lot. Depression is weighing on me hard. Here's the thing, so I really want to kill myself or is it because I want to get out of a shitty situation and have became hopeless?