22 yo dude

TL;DR I work an office job and I get random erections every now and then when I'm sitting still doing boring/non-engaging shit or when just bored. Trying to not fap or watch pron for a whole month starting June 1. Any tips?

thanks

Will post updates now and then (im new to 4chan posting so bear with my 4chan etiquette)

>Rest is me venting about my shitty life so ignore if you want:

I've been touching grass recently, since the end of March.

I'm around 5 ft 4 in (~162.56 cm). weight between 75-80 kg (~165-175 lbs).

Been doing some exercising lately (more on that below) and have made the decision to stop being degenerate (masturbation and porn) for a whole month starting June 1 (today), and maybe even forever.

Figured if I'm gonna try the self improvement meme format IRL I might as well go full(er)-measure.

Before today I usually fap multiple times a day since I was in middle school and have an archive of porn and shit I saved since high school.

I've been mostly shut-in for a good chunk of my life. Most of my friend interaction is online (especially nowadays since I moved). Living in a new town for a while and haven't made any IRL friends.

Still live with parents

I dont think Im attractive (short, not fit, nonsymmetrical face [eye size mismatch slightly], acne [noticeable, but not as bad as like Michael Reeves])

No gf and very lovesick
Had some relationship experience in the past, although pretty shitty

Ironically, I don't think I'm in a great position right now to be looking for a relationship anyway, nor do I deserve it. So that's why I'm doing this challenge.

Been walking/running around my neighborhood. Started with walking for a few weeks and then started running and walking during recent sessions. (goal is 1 mile run no stopping, gym soon)

Not really going for weight loss yet, just bringing up my cardio. Haven't been watching what I eat (I don't go out eating mcdonalds everyday though) but I probably should start improving my diet.

I believe that my core problem is that I am too passive, I never interact with the outside world. It's hard to explain. By this I don't mean your typical "I don't ask girls out". I mean that it feels like my brain has adapted to never trying to interfere with the external world.
I'm like a fly on the wall. I never ask questions, wether in person or online or forums. It's not that I'm uninterested, I love to hear people talk about themselves and things they love, it's just that no question comes up for me to ask.
It's like playing a rpg where people complain that actions don't have consequences but I don't notice that cause it has been my default behaviour since.

best guess is that it's tied to some inadequacy or feelings of inferiority. But I have no idea I'm asking see if anything has any input

tldr: I have only ever taken external input and never output anything of my own

This is why all my relationships fail. It's just a natural reaction. Well, better to not drag anyone down with me. I will die alone, lonely but noblely.

I feel like I can only get girls attention by being intense and thirsty. I can't make normal person friend groups. The women I talk to are generally interested/flattered at first but get scared when I try to ramp up the energy. Sometimes I feel like I'm broken; :ADHD, BPD, autistic, biopolar, schizoid or something
I tend to get an occasional "chaser" who isn't really attractive enough for me or is dating someone else and trying to put me in her back pocket. I can never get the girls I want never ever, the always go for someone who has stable interests and values. What the fuck do I do? I'm poor and I despise my upbringing. I'm genuinely strong and handsome but I'm undatable. I can have infinite awkward conversations at bars/work with attractive women who seems intrigued and confused by me. I feel like they want me but they think I don't want them. I do. I just can't put on the "boyfriend suit"

I like the concept of holding hands with a girl, taking her to nice places, feeling her weight in the bed, cuddling, watching movies or tv together, making out with her, talking to her, going out together to shows movies and more, cooking for her, and many other things.
The fun stops the moment I remember I have to probably meet her parents, start to one up myself and "take the relationship seriously," meet her friends, open up about interests she could never understand, and remember how taxing a relationship is.

After taking time off work to sort out mental issues (relating to my inability to take constructive criticism several months ago) I want to get back to work. I mainly have goals of being a welder, but I want to work at a retail job while I practice with scrap steel/aluminum before I actually get a real welding job. I *do* have a certificate of completion for beginner's welding classes, but I am not sure if that alone will get me through the door. Should I work retail and do welding school on the side or should I just say fuck it and try applying to local welding companies?

Me and my boyfriend are both 18. We have been dating since we were 15 and were close since our early childhood. We started university this year and I got too drunk at a party and cheated with a guy eight years older than me.
Now my boyfriend won't let it go even though it was just one stupid mistake that I won't make ever again. How do I convince him that I won't cheat again?

How do I do a DIY abortion

My parents are getting a new dog cause our dog died last year. I still live with them cause the economy in my country is fucked. I absolutely don't want a new dog or at least not the dog they are buying, but I wasn't stern enough about it so now they already paid for it in advance and we get it next month. I dread the day we get that stupid dog and I feel worse every day (I'm already mentally ill tbf).
What do I do? They are gonna get pretty pissed if I ask them to cancel it since they probably won't get reinbursed (I'd be willing to pay them for it but they'd still hate it). My parents claim they need the dog since they have issues themselves, but I'm already convinced I'm gonna hate this new dog. I feel like if I had picked the dog myself I might be more enthusiastic but idk. I can't imagine looking at the dog they are getting and loving it as if he's my own dog.