I'm a sociopath and I'm in love with a girl who has bipolar disorder. I love her but I constantly feel undeserving of her love. Does it have a chance of working out?

>only into bigger women
>Meet a really fat girl on snap
>Tells me that before I can come over to fuck I need to send her a pic of myself.
>Send her pics of myself
>Leaves me on read
>The same pics are ones that skinny girls have complimented me on and told me that I looked cute and handsome.
Why, WHY am I fucking repulsive to the ONE type of woman I'm attracted to? How do i make myself more appealing to fat girls. Seriously I'm so sick of only getting attention from skinny girls, I dont like skinny girls at all.

Is it possible to becomes friends with an ex?
Like genuine friends?

I'm such a loser it hurts, is there any way to just do a full 180? I don't want to tune up to it or holistically delve into the grey areas I just want to do a full turnaround.

Title.
When I was young, I used to be very fat and had hair like tighten from megamind. Despite this, people at school would just come up to me and talk to me, sometimes even girls. That's how I made friends.
However, in sophomore year of highschool, I decided I ought to do something about being so fat, and I lost a lot of weight. I went from 234 pounds to 180. I've since started exercising for strength instead, and have balanced out at around 200 even. (I'm 6'5 for reference)
But, ever since I got (reasonably) fit and a sensible haircut, people have stopped being friendly with me. I think I intimidate people or creep them out.
I've just finished my sophomore year of college without making any friends. All the people I talk with keep the conversations very surface-level, at least when I'm involved. Maybe they want me to reach out to them first, but I'm very shy, and they all seem to have their own groups already. Every time I talk and I don't push things, I feel like I just further cement things as they are.
tldr I'm very lonely and would like to make myself more approachable.
I posted android 16 because I am also big, tall, red haired, and love birds. (I also sometimes feel like a robot)

This sack of shit bully me not at work, not in school but in the fucking streets of my town, problem is the fucker is always surrounded with his friends, how do i proceed to the beating? i go at his work? find out where he does his groceries and fuck him up there?

I've got a small change jar that I keep solely to spend on having a good time, what's the most fun I can have with $125 Canadian dollars?

Is there a quick way to get over infatuation for a person? My life would be easier if I could just delete them from my mind and move on.

I'm in a weird place where I'm just struggling to trust women in general. Whenever I get hit on I think they just want sex, whenever I'm interested in a woman I feel like it's too much of a risk to get attached and will get in the way of my career and freedom. I'm in this weird position where I would like the intimacy but can't bring myself to trust anyone to close that gap.