In 16 days im turning 18
What do i do, i don't know what the fuck to study, and all the hobbies i have are nerd type and I dont think ill actually get a job of it, i don't want a useless degree.
I've also been struggling very hard with online classes and failing a lot
I feel unmotivated and extremely pesimistic
I really dont see any benefit of turning 18
I have considered comiting suicide for it since almost 6 months now.
Im not even nervous about still being a virgin i really dont care about that anymore, but i dont know what to care about at all.
Nothing of what i may know is actually 100% bullet proof everything leaves me skeptical.
Its not that i feel nihilistic more than i feel in some state of shock
This Christmas was the second one i spend crying myself to sleep.
I really dont have any positive thoughs,
How do i get motivated