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Unhealthy obsession with being discriminated against?

No.24009766 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Crucial info: been bullied all my life until I decided to never let any mofo hurt me again. I swore to obliterate any sub-subhuman trash who has the misfortune of targeting me.

I unfortunately had the misfortune of engaging in degenerate racist places, like /pol/, right wing subreddits and right wing Youtube channels.

I am of a certain race that isn't liked generally. I deal with discrimination (on the Internet) for this. I never supported any type of bad behavior since I was a kid, let alone engage in it, so I can't stand being counted amongst these people, or any ape people.

I have an extreme sensitivity to being harmed because I was severely bullied growing up. Some of these racists would infer they'd hurt me physically which is something I would excessively punish.

I plan of traveling the world and innocently live a good peaceful and quiet life. But I have worries of bumping into degenerate racists who might harm me verbally or even try to kill me. I think about this all day long. I'd even sometimes imagine something that never happened and spend the whole day raging over it.

I live in a place where my kind are not liked. Nonetheless the locals, who are racists sometimes, don't hurt me and treat me nice, but maybe it's because I live in a small community...

So, in a nutshell, I never was like this and never chose to be like this. It makes me feel ashamed talking about brooding over race. My parents are good people. I never smoked anything or drank anything. I don't have any police record. I never hurt anyone in my life.

I want to return to the serenity of not having these thoughts and instead playing video games, talking shit I'd never act on in a bad Dota 2 match.

How to detoxicfy my head from this crap and lead a healthy life?

I have done these things:
- quit politics and news forever.
- stopped consuming right wing material (subreddits, 4chan boards, Youtube channels)
- Deleted nationalistic songs.

Pls give sincere advice or fk urself.