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What am I supposed to feel?

No.24921855 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
>cheat on every girlfriend i had
>always break up with them over text without giving any form of closure
>tell various girls (from dating apps and e-girls) that i love them and that i care about them while not giving a single fuck about them at all
>enjoy hurting them emotionally to the point where they call me to cry
>still desire for a girl to care about me and never leave my side even though I know all of the aforementioned stuff will repeat over and over

I’m fully aware this is toxic but i don’t know if i’ll be able to change.