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I havent acted on my urges in any way, but I just cant help feeling aroused near children. I guess its because of how small and cute they are, I imagine taking care of them and cuddling them, slowly rubbing their crotches more and more. Its especially problematic since I have a cousin like 9 years old and she visits semi-regularly. I guess I should go to therapy, but I dont really trust therapists from a long history of childhood therapy, plus i dont even know how I would find one. I also live with my mom, so keeping it a secret from her would be difficult.