It’s beyond insulting, when I have people much more worthy of the accusal/diagnosis in my life, when our relationship is the biggest thing to make me consider that maybe families don’t have to be fucked up, maybe marriages don’t have to be fucked up, that you think your advice/commentary is solicited let alone valid, that you think you know either of us or very importantly our *families* well enough to not just be talking out of your ass. Enough. Again and again and again you can condescend and feel superior in this format, but at the end of the day, you either do not possess the cognitive/emotional tools to realize what a tool you act like or you refuse to
I won’t reach out. I won’t take a chance, even for clarity’s sake. Not again. Bait and invalidate as long as you need to to get it out of your system. I hope you tell your wife before you try to do anything further with S. I hope she can have the self awareness and self love to not just passively abet this time. Actually, I can’t expect that of either of you. I hope S goes to your wife the moment you contact her again. But, if she’s to your tastes, she’s probably parallel in prevaricating.
Look! I’ll be you! I’ll be hurtful!>Enjoy the divorce, don’t stop forking over the presents for Second Christmas 10 years in!
But christ, I can’t actually say any of that, even though I think of your wife as a victim and you as an unwitting tyrant, I don’t know enough! And I don’t care to because you haven’t asked me to care and it’s not my job to love your partner for you. EVERY act in our relationship is an act of love and of growth. Sacrifice, then alchemy. I am sorry you cannot relate therefor cannot conceptualize. Funnel your energy where it is needed. Soon.