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Want to drop out of college

No.27441264 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
not sure how succinct to be with this but here goes.
>started college in fall 2018 for engineering
>after a series of changes in major, gave up on STEM and went into digital media/animation since i've always had a passion for art anyway
>COVID, etc. fucked up my already bad mental health and destroyed my work ethic
>due to this i've been accumulating a ton of overdue assignments
>for the last year or two i've had a constant sense of being behind/needing to catch up
>it's exhausting and frustrating and i am sick of it
>i have not even bothered looking at my (all online) courses this semester because i got behind early on and just gave up
>never liked thinking about the long term because my outlook was that if things ever got to be too much, i could always kill myself
>but then things got to be too much, and i found that i didn't truly want to kill myself, so now i am stuck with this mess
>i want to just drop out so i can finally try to focus on actually working on my craft and looking for work instead of stressing about school any longer.
on the other hand,
>if i can manage to miraculously get all of my shit done in time, i will actually earn the degree
>have something like $20k in private student loans that i fear will be "for nothing" if i don't end up with a degree to show for it
>asian parents (who have no idea how badly i am doing with school right now and could not even fathom the idea of me dropping out)
I'm just sick of school and being behind constantly; of school getting in the way of life and happiness and developing work skills/looking for work, etc.
I don't even know if I need a degree for what I want to do, which is something related to art, maybe video game art or something. I don't really feel like having a degree is going to make any difference in the fact that I don't have any work lined up for after I finish school, but maybe I'm wrong. Everything feels like so much and I don't know what to do.