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Why do dead bedrooms happen?

No.27446112 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
I can't understand why a woman wouldn't want to have sex with her man or try new things - I mean I can rationally get that this exists, but in my guts I don't really sympathize. It's not that hard to just have sex, especially if you're a woman or the receptive partner. All you have to do is be present, hopefully wear something sexy that emphasizes your goods, and let the man do most of the work. But apparently many women don't even do that. I always wonder, "he must've pissed her off somehow or turned her off, and she just doesn't want to confront him." Like she might not even consciously know that he disappointed her. She feels the weight of all the years of hurt and disappointment that piled up that she doesn't want to confront, and instead she just buries it under the rug, and sexually and emotionally checks out in the meantime. She doesn't even want to accommodate him, or even touch him.

The guy doesn't understand why she changed, thinks it's on her and nothing that has to do with his own behavior, and then instead of confronting it or leaving, he starts looking elsewhere. Instead of trying to figure out their sex life, the guy thinks there is nothing wrong with seeking elsewhere - they view their wives as something they acquired, like a possession for a means to an end instead of a life partner that they are accountable to. He's with her out of convenience. What he should be doing is do everything in his power to access his wife sexually and make her receptive.

These are the types of people who describe what they love about their partners in very utilitarian terms.

Am I off about this?