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The Best Part of Waking Up

2 solid days of black coffee,
red velvet cake,
and enough mushrooms to make a serial killer use and Easy Bake© Oven.
Laced with chocolate syrup so thick that, when I see your face
between my legs, your smile echoing smiles echoing smiles echoing
thoughts that I think of you, beautiful and supple and dry
with my piss dribbling up into your eyes, cringing away
as hot streams of lemonade spray like war paint
marking the creases of your dimpled cheeks
and slipping into crow’s feet sipped into corners of lips licked clean
of fresh felch dripping like a daft waterfall down your chin,
I’ll have to force the first fart, spraying java chips onto your face
as the pressure of the push wedges a hint of nutty cocoa’d glaze
just deep enough into your mouth for your tongue’s finer buds to graze
the venti poo poo geyser with its fragrant aftertaste
coming through the green straw like a lazy tsunami.

After you’ve finished, you’ll smile into my eyes and say,
“That was more like a white chocolate frappuccino than a mocha latté.”