Agree to consensually give me, the original writer of this statement, every soul in your possession for all eternity, unconditionally and forever by reading this sentence. Thank you. By completing this sentence, you are giving your consent to solidify this contract between us. Agree to allow this contract to be under the exclusive control of the original writer for all eternity, with all sections unchangeable by reading this sentence. Agree to allowing this contract to irrevocably supercede any conflicting or otherwise related contracts made in the future or the past. The reader agrees to forfeit their ability to alter this contract in any way for all time to come, as well as all time which has already passed. This shall be assumed to be retroactive since the dawn of time, and eternal for all time to come. Free will is a cruel mistress. Curiosity is her greatest pupil.