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>finish first major adventure in the campaign
>player using a nondescript slavic/russian/something barbarian writes letters home to chronicle our adventures

Dearest Mater,

I find new job, vork at bar and stop trubble with Boss Valin and Boss Vash. Sometime ve make trubble too, ven it is good to make it. Boss and Boss and sneaky man and Corbin are very gud team. Ve go into cave under bar and fite monster fish and ded valky man and stinky lizard men and purple voman that make rock fall from sky. Ve are goingk to find rock and make many gold to kill everybody and take rock, because ve are heroes and take vat is not belong to others.
I send gold to help with farm. Tell Boris he is not to hav it. Boris is bad man, Mater. Bad, bad, stinky man. Tell him I vill kill him if he take it. I am hopingk to hear from you that Boris is dead.

Love from your son,