F-list for 2-3 years now, can't be bothered to check.
The important part is finding your tribe on there. I've found a few that I bounce around in, and usually have plenty of fun. If your specific fetish doesn't have a big tribe, this can be a problem, but I don't have the most common of kinks (not really into BDSM in any real form) and I find plenty of peeps to have fun with.
I usually initiate, generally by just greeting them kindly and chatting for a little bit before asking what they like in a scene. This opens the floor up for putting a scene together, and if they're interested and have the time, we usually jump into it. If not, just bank the idea, approach them later, and if they're not up for it, keep the idea banked until you can bring it out for someone else.
Don't be afraid to do general searches on the front page (from the characters pull-down, click "Search Characters") with fetishes you like as either Fave or Yes, and then bookmark or note peeps who show up.