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Hyperdimension Dwarf Fortress Quest 59

!!RkFQIQOO6xk No.43938744 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
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You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, and you are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. Right now, you're grimly keeping your balance on an explosion-propelled space rock that's hurtling through the cluttered hyperdimensional void at cataclysmically unsafe speeds.

Praying to Armok that you won't crash into anything hard enough to turn you all into chunky meat sauce would be futile, since your plan to arrive at your destination does, in fact, involve crashing into it hard enough to turn you all into chunky meat sauce. Heck, the very act of STOPPING your hollowed-out asteroid REQUIRES that you crash into something with enough force to turn you all into chunky meat sauce, while steering to the left or right requires that you detonate one of the munition piles cobbled together on either side of your makeshift vehicle.

And here you are, riding this deathtrap to the nearest stranded adventurer, who's probably just sitting on a floating island not that much larger than your hollowed-out asteroid. You ARE intent on helping her- although now that you think about it, rescue missions normally fail if the rescuers accidentally vaporize their target and her immediate surroundings upon landing.

... see, THIS is why you try to avoid working with people who both agree with your suicidal dwarfy plans AND have the power to make your plans a horrific reality.

Your awed stargazing is rudely interrupted when a fist-sized piece of debris smashes into the 'ground' a few feet away, making you jump.

"Get in cover, idiot!" Tiff roars from somewhere underneath your feet. "We got incoming!"

(Cont.)