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All Guardsmen Party Storytime

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So no shit, there we were, delivering the live Zoanthrope we'd hauled halfway across the galaxy, when instead of thanking us for our hard work and offering to buy us all a beer, the Inquisitor running the facility placed us under arrest. There ain't no fucking justice.

We all stood there, paralyzed, at the news that our boss, Inquisitor Oak, had been branded a Rogue, a traitor to the Inquisition. The mere fact that we were his subordinates damned us in the eyes of the Inquisition, and to make matters even worse, we were apparently on the hook for just about everything we'd done since the start of our mission, as well as few things that we hadn't. Not that it really mattered what we had or hadn't done, since the motto of the Inquisitorial courts is: "A plea of innocence is guilty of wasting our time."

It slowly dawned on each of us that unless something amazingly unexpected happened, our future would consist of a quick trial and execution, if we were lucky that is. If we were unlucky, it'd be a long trial and a longer execution. Perhaps inevitably, Nubby was the first one to come to grips with the situation, and before the Inquisitor had even finished telling his two Deathwatch Space Marine bodyguards to kill us if we attempted to do anything, the little trooper was volunteering to testify against Oak in exchange for clemency, and also possibly a small cash payment.

The Inquisitor responded to this outburst by briefly turning his unnervingly steady gaze to the cretinous little trooper, who suddenly forgot how to speak mid-sellout. After a few vague "uh"-ing sounds, Nubby sat down, gripping his head with one hand and making rude gestures at the Inquisitor with the other.