Picture I get captured, I basically say all the normal Islamic greeting, I don’t speak and let them know I’m reasonable and calm, I don’t want to be annoying.
When they ask why I’m here I’ll show them the Quran app and go “I come from a western country with corrupted religion, morals and degenerates, I have been searching for God and learned about Islam, I came over here because in the UK you can’t discuss true Islam because the government is against it, I renounce the west. I came to Afghanistan as I heard about its respectable reasonable people like yourself, I didn’t go Dubai or elsewhere because of lockdown. As the Quran says, a mans travel to seek knowledge about God should be respected. I’m not Jewish, not media, not government, I’m not like them. I don’t like them. I’ve come here to learn and give to charity, I am not your enemy my friend. I understand if you want me gone, if you let me go I will leave within an hour, you have my word and if not, my head. I ask that you let me go, I have an elderly parent at home I don’t want them to learn that I didn’t make it home.
Obviously not said in one go or so robotically but that’s the general script in one. Play on their emotions, do the us vs them game and show them how easy it is for me to get out of their hair. If they ask why I’m clean shaven I’ll say it’s because the western gov wouldn’t let me fly with a beard as they’d try to stop me learning about God or something. If I do it with confidence and Sincerity, I stand a good shot at being let go