What's the scariest, creepiest, most disturbing or most mysterious Youtube video/channel/rabbit hole you've ever come across? I'll start. >be me a few years ago during high school >fucking around online, researching columbine massacre because that was my interest of the day >watching a video on Youtube showing CCTV footage of the cafeteria during the shooting >scroll through comment section >I'm no stranger to edgelords saying edgy trollish shit, but one comment by a user named Lynn Ann sticks out to me >her profile pic is of the shooters and she basically says that all the victims were ugly and looked better decomposed >for whatever reason I'm compelled to check out her channel >a few of her videos have a couple hundred thousand views >she looks like a fucking ghoul, her face destroyed by what I assume plastic surgery >her videos consist of her talking in her room in a weird accent, defending the shooters, smiling like a creep, and showing off her columbine shooter merch including blankets, mugs, and waifu body pillows (yes really) >a few horror/obscure media related Youtube channels have talked about her >pretty sure archives of her videos still exist
Any old time tulpamancers from 2012-2013 /mlp/ era? How are you guys doing? Are you still with your tulpa?
Personally I stopped talking to her for over 5 years, yet she is still there when I focus on her or if I try to talk to her. She answers and tells me "I understand that you grew up so much and you are ashamed of me now, but I still would like to talk to you. I am not angry with you and am proud of who you've become."
That time of my life brings immense shame, but at the same time I feel guilty for leaving her in the dust, despite what she says.
I'm agnostic and believe in the atheist worldview. The only reason why I'm not a complete atheist, is that I sometimes have the feeling that some higher power is fucking with me.
Like I stream some anime in my free time and it doesn't work. After a lot of time it works. I watch it, and when I think it will now work, it stops working.
Or I need to message my boss if I can go to work. If he answers I can go. One day I'm lazy and don't want to, but my mom pushes me to. So I message him and have the constant fear of him answering. After a few hours I start to think he maybe will not answer, and shortly after he does.
Everytime I think optimistic or get some kind of hope it gets crushed immediately. I just think about something, and then it happens. Pretty hard to explain.
How can I psyops myself into believing and seeing myself with my mind eye even when looking at myself on the mirror to be a cure furry cat anthro (male)? I feel like I distanced myself from the vivid fantasy capabilities I always had very sensitive in me and I wanna go back to imagining stuff on this level even if I became so aware in the last few years, results of masking my autism so hard.
